What are you waiting for?

I have a black canvas frame with bright pink letters that reads ... 'What are you waiting for?' in my bathroom.   I see it every day ... I bought it a few years ago at Chapters.  It spoke to me from the 75% off bin ... "Sam take me home ... What are you waiting for?" 

I have led my life ... waiting.  Waiting until I had the right boyfriend ... drove the right car ... had the right hair ... was the right weight ... had the right job ... married the right guy ... was the right kinda Mom ...

Waiting ... and more waiting.  Sometimes ... my profession was Full-Time People Pleaser!  Waiting to fulfill my dreams ... my needs ... my day-to-day life. 

On the treadmill tonight and I caught a glimpse of my butt, which closely resembled two kittens fighting under a blanket, and I wanted to go home. 

I wanted to give up ... no ... I wanted to 'wait' for a time when I was thinner, looked better in my Lululemons and have more energy before I attempt the gym again. 

'It is too hard', I told myself ... I'll 'wait' until Spring ... when it is not so freakin' cold.  I will 'wait' until I am more comfortable with my work-out routine.  I will 'wait' I thought ... a thought I have had recurring for as long as I can remember. 

For the first time I acknowledged that I no longer have time to 'wait'. 

Once again ... I did the math ... and if I get another 39 years on this planet I will be lucky! 

Then it happened ... I kept walking. I kept moving. The kittens kept scrapping under that blanket.

I cannot wait ...

So I did my workout and had some giggles with a friend ... joked about making our next 'workout' ...  a session in the Good Life massage chairs watching King of Queens or even better Biggest Loser! 

But no ... I decided today to eat better, be gentle on myself, plan for my work-out on Thursday and most of all stop hanging out in the waiting room.  Yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah ...