It started about 5 years ago innocently enough ... I would be in a video store check-out or at the gas station or at the grocery store and some snotty-nosed, pimple head would say "Thanks Ma'am".
I laughed the first few times thinking ... obviously he says that to everyone and he did not notice who I AM! I would look behind me thinking 'There is no 'blanking' way on earth that he is talking to me!'
I am not a Ma'am ... (insert stomping feet and waving hands here) ... I AM NOT a Ma'am. I cannot be ... not yet! I am not ready to be a Ma'am ... I still listen to loud music, I sometimes eat ice cream for dinner, I am up on the lastest celebrity gossip and I know who the Jonas Brothers are ... I AM NOT a Ma'am!
Although I do find myself doing what I vowed I would never do ... the whole "when I was your age ... I walked to school for ten miles uphill ... both ways".
I am doing it ... I asked a twerp at the drug store if he had ever heard of a 'music record and a 45' before ... and I added 'we had to put a little circle in the middle of the 45'!
I mentioned Red Skeleton to a younger friend recently and the blank stare concerned me.
We only had two TV stations growing up ... CBC and the other one. If the Billy Graham Crusade was on ... you watched it ... or you watched Pierre Burton and Barbara Frum ... or you actually went outside and got cold and dirty and no one stole you! No one wanted you!
Am I turning into that woman?! The grumpy one ... who dreams of other times?
Tonight a perky Shopper's Drug Mart clerk ... "Ma'am would you like a free sample" ... my thought at the time ... how sweet, now there's a nice young lady.
Until I got home ... it's 'bleeping' anti-wrinkle cream.
Ma'am is about to apply anti-wrinkle cream and stare into mirror until results appear ... yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Those retail bastards, yogurt finger prints and my ass!
When did it happen? When did I stop taing care of myself? When did the size of my ass not become a priority!??
When did I decide it was OK to wear jeans that had 2-year-old yogurt finger prints to the shopping centre?
When did I decide it was OK to wear my hair in a ponytail and not bother with makeup?
When did the denial about clothing sizes start ... 'Those bastards are making clothes smaller now- it's a retail scam'!!!
When did I stop caring what I look like?
Was it when I got married? When I had a baby? Was it when I thought 'now I have everything'?!
Was it when I put everything before me?
I was the kinda girl who had matching bras and panties! I was the kinda girl who took pride in my style! I was a booking agent at a modelling agency for Pete's sake! OH how Susan Palmer would cringe to see me now!
Oh the best part ... in my single / dating days I would JUDGE women that look exactly like I do now!!! I would snicker at the lack of 'togetherness' and vow that 'I will never be like that when I am a wife and a Mom'. 'Oh no ... those women just don't know how to put their foot down and demand time for themselves ... they don't know how to manage time'!
I would be the perfect Mom / Wife ... cuz I would multi-task ... I would combine Swiffering with pilates, I would document my kid's every moment and word while I exfoliated ... I would have a cookbook in one hand and my husband's penis in the other!
Well what's gonna give??! Something has gotta give ... yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah!
When did I decide it was OK to wear jeans that had 2-year-old yogurt finger prints to the shopping centre?
When did I decide it was OK to wear my hair in a ponytail and not bother with makeup?
When did the denial about clothing sizes start ... 'Those bastards are making clothes smaller now- it's a retail scam'!!!
When did I stop caring what I look like?
Was it when I got married? When I had a baby? Was it when I thought 'now I have everything'?!
Was it when I put everything before me?
I was the kinda girl who had matching bras and panties! I was the kinda girl who took pride in my style! I was a booking agent at a modelling agency for Pete's sake! OH how Susan Palmer would cringe to see me now!
Oh the best part ... in my single / dating days I would JUDGE women that look exactly like I do now!!! I would snicker at the lack of 'togetherness' and vow that 'I will never be like that when I am a wife and a Mom'. 'Oh no ... those women just don't know how to put their foot down and demand time for themselves ... they don't know how to manage time'!
I would be the perfect Mom / Wife ... cuz I would multi-task ... I would combine Swiffering with pilates, I would document my kid's every moment and word while I exfoliated ... I would have a cookbook in one hand and my husband's penis in the other!
Well what's gonna give??! Something has gotta give ... yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Eye cream in one hand and Blogging for Dummies in the other hand
OK ... so I am doing this -- blogging! I turned 39 years old today and will be chronicling my journey to 40.
I am armed ... with eye cream (who knew that black circles appear under your eyes the day you turn 39) and with another book with the word 'Dummies' in the title. I am addicted to those books ... I have the Cooking for Dummies, Time Management for Dummies, Yoga for Idiots ... I am beginning to see a trend -- I buy the book and then it all stops, no cooking, wasting time and no downward dog!!
I vow that Blogging for Dummies will be different ...
Excited, scared, neutral ... all the words that describe how I feel about turning 40. I have a year to get comfortable with it. Some days I am petrified and some days I don't care. It is funny I don't feel 39 ... whatever that means. I remember my parents and their friends turning 40 ... it was a BIG deal. They spray painted the lawns with a big 4 - 0, there were a lot of flamingos and parties!
I am off to a bad start on the 39-thing ... I lost my car in the Michael's Craft store parking lot and walked around like a complete schmuck ... talking to myself. Then for a flash I thought ... now I know why my Mom ties a ridiculous flower to her atennae. OMG ... am I my Mother!??!
Well ... that is it for today.
I am armed ... with eye cream (who knew that black circles appear under your eyes the day you turn 39) and with another book with the word 'Dummies' in the title. I am addicted to those books ... I have the Cooking for Dummies, Time Management for Dummies, Yoga for Idiots ... I am beginning to see a trend -- I buy the book and then it all stops, no cooking, wasting time and no downward dog!!
I vow that Blogging for Dummies will be different ...
Excited, scared, neutral ... all the words that describe how I feel about turning 40. I have a year to get comfortable with it. Some days I am petrified and some days I don't care. It is funny I don't feel 39 ... whatever that means. I remember my parents and their friends turning 40 ... it was a BIG deal. They spray painted the lawns with a big 4 - 0, there were a lot of flamingos and parties!
I am off to a bad start on the 39-thing ... I lost my car in the Michael's Craft store parking lot and walked around like a complete schmuck ... talking to myself. Then for a flash I thought ... now I know why my Mom ties a ridiculous flower to her atennae. OMG ... am I my Mother!??!
Well ... that is it for today.
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