All in a day ...

12:37 AM ... "Mommy, mommy ..."!!!  Little one crawls into bed with me. 

1:43 AM ... Avery takes up 97% of a Queen Size Bed  ... how does a 28-month old who weighs 29lbs sprawl out like an octopus and snore like a sailor!  (For the record I have never personally heard a sailor snore!  Darn)

5:55 AM ... Waking up and thinking 'oh my goodness I am exhausted'. 

5:57 AM ... Avery is having sweet dreams which are soon a sweet memory - Golden Retriever is wishing everyone a Barking Good Morning ...  "Molly shut it!"

5:58 AM ... Hubby -- early bird -- is arriving home from Tim's with a coffee. 

6:00 AM ... Alarm goes off.  Beep, Beep, Beep ... Must officially get up!

6:05 AM ... Convincing Avery to have her diaper changed, brush her teeth and comb her hair

6:14 AM ... Threatening that teeth will fall out

6:19 AM ... Debating what to t-shirt to wear ... "No flowers, no puppies and no words Mommy!" ... we settle on stripes

6:34 AM ... Jump in shower, step on fish bath toy ... first experlative of the day ... #!$#%^$^%

6:45 AM ... Daddy takes over Avery duty

7:17 AM - 4:50 PM ... Fight traffic, work, fight traffic (second, third, fourth and fifth experlatives of the day)

4:55 PM ... Pick up Avery from Montessori ... she skips to see me and exclaims to her classmates "My Mommy"!

5:15 PM ... Take little one to dinner and do some errands ...

6:45 PM ... Stop in at Daddy's work and Avery tells Jeff's co-worker ...  "Mommy went Poopy!"

7:15 PM ... Convincing Avery to change her diaper, brush her teeth and put on 'jammies'

7:27 PM ... Theatening that teeth will fall out

7:32 PM... "Bang, bang, clatter bing bang ..."  reading Munsch's Mortimer for the 149th time

7:49 PM... Tuck 'Monkey' in ... hearing  "I wuv you Mommy"

7:51 PM ... Realizing it is all worth it!  Yaddyaddayaddablahblahblah ...

Cucumbers ... really?!

Ok - so we all get those e-mails ... the silly LOL jokes or better yer LMAO, the "you will live 20 more years if you forward this in the next ten seconds", the photos of the apes mothering baby tigers and the extend your 'member' now offers! 

So my Mother sends me an e-mail about the power of cucumbers!  

Yep ... they eliminate fog on the bathroom mirror, they work on a hangover, they can be used to shine your shoes and fix a squeaky hinge.  Really?  A squeaky hinge ... off to the crisper I go! 

One of the other miracle uses for cucumbers is ... and I quote ...


"Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing thevisibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!!"

Does it really say ... 'a slice or two'?  Really ... 'a slice or two'? 

If I am reducing the cellulite on my ass with a cucumber ... we are talking a special delivery from Farm Boy with a two-ton truck. 

Hey ... now I have a use for that Slap Chop my Mother bought me!  Chopping the cucumber that will be rubbed on my buttocks ... suddenly I have a craving for a Greek Salad ... no wait tzatziki! 

The way I figure it ... if I quit my job ... slice cucumbers and rub said cucumbers on my arse ... I will have tightened my ass by the time I retire!  Yaddayaddayaddablahblahblah ...