Those retail bastards, yogurt finger prints and my ass!

When did it happen?  When did I stop taing care of myself?  When did the size of my ass not become a priority!?? 

When did I decide it was OK to wear jeans that had 2-year-old yogurt finger prints to the shopping centre? 

When did I decide it was OK to wear my hair in a ponytail and not bother with makeup? 

When did the denial about clothing sizes start ... 'Those bastards are making clothes smaller now- it's a retail scam'!!!

When did I stop caring what I look like? 

Was it when I got married?  When I had a baby?  Was it when I thought 'now I have everything'?!

Was it when I put everything before me? 

I was the kinda girl who had matching bras and panties!  I was the kinda girl who took pride in my style!  I was a booking agent at a modelling agency for Pete's sake!  OH how Susan Palmer would cringe to see me now! 

Oh the best part ... in my single / dating days I would JUDGE women that look exactly like I do now!!!  I would snicker at the lack of 'togetherness' and vow that 'I will never be like that when I am a wife and a Mom'.  'Oh no ... those women just don't know how to put their foot down and demand time for themselves ... they don't know how to manage time'! 

I would be the perfect Mom / Wife ... cuz I would multi-task ... I would combine Swiffering with pilates, I would document my kid's every moment and word while I exfoliated ... I would have a cookbook in one hand and my husband's penis in the other! 

Well what's gonna give??!  Something has gotta give ... yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah!